PG15's Xanga

So Long, and Thanks for all the…Comments

Sat, 23 Jun 2007 04:25:03 GMT

Well friends, this is it. 1000 days ago (or at least, that's what Xanga says), I joined Xanga and started something I never thought I would. I told myself before then that I wouldn’t have an interesting-enough life to write a whole blog about, that I would just post an entry, and completely forget about it. Of course, like many things I eventually caved and made my first post. God, I was so…peppy back then.

Still, something urged me on, and most of that, I think, were you guys. Martha, Ang, Melissa, Tony, Graeme, my cousin Eva…even Rajesh, Guan, and Jamie sometimes commented and shared your thoughts with me; thoughts that would otherwise not reach me since I never see you guys anymore. I think it was this quest for communication that drove me to continue the blog. As the days went by, however, I realized that there was more here than just a simple online diary. Well, ok that’s exactly what it was, but it was valuable nonetheless; it gave a window into my past feelings and thought-processes, my past moments of joy, anger, and sadness. Most of all, I think it gave all of you that as well. Now, as I explore my myriad of posts within those thousand days, I come upon some very interesting entries. Since this is my last post on Xanga, let’s make it like the last episode of a TV show. Or, to be more specific, let’s make it like the last episode of Seinfeld. That’s right, this is a clipshow, or…in this case, a Linkshow!

For the first few days of the blog, I tried to update daily. Of course, I eventually stopped because my life was indeed not that interesting at all. It became weekly, and then even monthly, until I finally settled down into a pattern: random.

Here’s an interesting entry from near the beginning: September 28, 2004, where I tried my hand at writing prose, sort of. Reading back on it now makes that night as clear as ever.

As the blog started in 2004, a lot of IB stuff was mentioned. Talks of badminton classes (for CAS) and of my stomach problems at the time filled most of the entries, but none of it really had the “flare” of my recent posts. You know, the dry wit, the self-congratulations, and all that good stuff. This was probably because of the fact that I’ve only been online (as in, posting on forums) for 2 years when I started the blog, which meant that my experience in dealing with people online and in the written word hadquite a ways to go still. Also, as I mentioned, the first few days were spent just spouting off “here’s what happened today” stuff, which I quickly learned I wasn’t good at. I needed something big to happen to cause me to write down my experiences, and write them good…er…well.

Ah…nostalgia. Anyway, nothing really happened for the first few months of the blog. I just blabbed on and on about IB stuff…except in this entry: October 16, 2004. Hmm…looks like it was Martha’s original blog that caused me to start mine. Well, there’s some history for ya.

And then there were a pair of entries right afterwards where I started getting a tad angsty about the stomach: October 29, 2004, October 31, 2004, which, actually gave me a lot of comments. I think 8 is the highest I’ve ever gotten. It’s all you guys, guys!

This post is long, isn’t it? Well, think of it as the 2-hour series finale or something. Yes, I know Seinfeld only had an hour’s worth, give me a break.

And then, there was that day when I felt brave enough to post some of my Star Trek fanfiction online. I don’t know why I did it…no, I do: it was for attention: November 7, 2004.

And then, there was the shortest post ever, although that could change as I continue to explore my past, and of course (I have to stop using that…that and brackets), my first rant about relationships and how I’m not getting any: November 28, 2004.

Needless to say, this went on for some time. I won’t bore you with the tiny details, because that would be boring, and certainly I haven’t done that already in this post. Let’s just look at some of the more interesting bits of the past with a montage of links to the music of Koyaanisqatsi (right click, save target as...):

World Music Festival
Previous order-10 Milestone
The Great Physics-Medicine Debate
First Visit to UBC
South Park Me
IB Family
The REAL Shortest Post (IB Exams Cometh)
Pink Love
IB Ends
First Photo Post: Camp out at Saltspring Island
High School Ends
Summer Rut
Aborted Trip
The Worst Day of My Life
UBC: Day 1
Bamfield
Some Randomness with Coldplay
Titles!
IB Reunion 1
Some Randomness with Ulysses
My First Election!…I said ELECTION! It’s an L!
Camp Elphinstone
Yeah, this makes sense
Year 1 Finished
China
Decision Made: Physics
Carving, and the New Problem
Views from the Balcony
300 Days Ago
UBC: Day 1…of Year 2
Stargate!!
Second Source of Angst
Snow Day
Another Girl?
Hooked on Avatar
The Poem
First Flu in Memorized Memory
Seriously, WTF?!
Area 51
Stargate SG1 Ends
When I was a kid…
Blow. Your. Mind.
IB Reunion 2
Reaaaalllly Angsty
Awesome Music
Shaky
Driving me Crazy!
The Girl I Left Behind

And finally, my crown achievement: The Great Trip Report:

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

^I still have that in a big Word file; photos and all.

Admittedly, I included a lot more stuff from recent memory than from when I first started. I already explained why: I’m just a better writer these days, maybe, I think…whatever.

So, there you have it folks. 1000 days of Xanga, and not even with a single entry in my Guestbook! I went from an insensitive bastard with a stomach problem who always wanted to get laughs, good marks, and had many crushes on girls…to a somewhat sensitive bastard with a dizziness problem who always wants to get laughs, good marks, and still have many crushes on girls. Somethings never change I suppose, but one thing for sure changes today: this blog.

You see, I have no intention of stopping my blogging; I just think that Xanga is the blog most people frown upon because it’s not hip anymore, or something. Either way, say goodbye to “UB(C) A Loser, formerly “IB A Loser”, and say hello to:

The Gorn-Dee-Kerd Chronicles

Why the name? Go to that link and find out!

In the meantime: goodbye Xanga, you were pretty cool, but now it’s time to move on. Gosh, I hope I made a good impression with the Internet Gods.

(Now THAT’s a bookend!)

Mission (Almost) Accomplished

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 06:20:38 GMT

Well, I just finished my post for my 1000th and last day on Xanga. It's a big one; in fact, it may be THE biggest one outside of the Great Trip Reports in pure word-count...maybe. Either way, I hope you guys like it, and follow me to LiveJournal where I'll be continuing my rantings and randomness in style.

Doing that entry required me to go through my whole posting history on this quaint little blog, and...well, you'll just have to read it when I post it. Of course, this is not really a big deal, but I'm bored, and I'm making it a big deal!

3 Days!

The Girl I Left Behind

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 05:58:30 GMT

For the past few weeks now, I've been going on about a topic that I keep forgetting to address. Well, that's what's going down today.

The title makes it pretty clear. When I was just a baby, my mom brought me to a neighbor's house; they were friends, and they still are. The neighbor had a baby daughter, and my parents told me that we got along great almost immediately.

For the next few years, we grew up together, we played together, we were the bestest of friends. I remember once where I got this crazy idea from reading too many geology books (for kids), that we could dig to the center of the Earth. I "recruited" her on this mission, and right outside of our apartment building we started digging. I kept saying "we're close! We're so close!" even though the hole was less than a foot deep. Still, we had a lot of fun. According to my parents, she would only ever play with me. I, of course, played with everybody because I was just a boy who didn't know any better...but she would only play with me. Every once in a while, she would stand outside of my balcony and yell my name, and I would zoom out of the building and play with her. Other times, I would go to her house to play with her big box of toys (I was jealous of that), or play husband-and-wife, like all good little children, or try to learn piano from her, since she was getting lessons. Apparently, I learned pretty fast. We had a great time together; in fact, I think there's a picture of us kissing, but that's one of those kids' stuff that really means nothing at the end of the day. Maybe.

Still, she wasn't perfect. She had a temper, and apparently, I seem to piss her off quite frequently. According to my parents, when she gets angry, I would just become completely aloof and not pay attention to her. After a while, she'll stop simmering, and everything becomes normal. All in good fun.

Of course, life doesn't always go down the easy road. When elementry school started, she went to a different school, despite living next door. She got busy, and stopped coming to the neighborhood park that I always went to pretty much every day (I talked about this before). Once in a while, I would still go to her house, but it became much more infrequent. We were still great friends, but for now, I had other friends, and other friends who were girls that I liked. Again, just kids stuff. Still, it was apparent enough to my teacher that, during a memorable desk change (we switched sitting positions once in a while in the class), I was coincidentally seated next to my closest "girlfriend" at the time. I still remember sitting there, next to her; my little heart beating fast as I turned away from her to hide my blushing. I mean, I was eight at the time; I guess you can call it...cute?

However, she always remained a close family friend. She still lived next door, and once in a while, we still talk. Gone were the days when she used to call my name outside of my balcony and I would run down the 4 flights of stairs in a flash, but she was always there.

And then, everything changed. My mom had immigrated to Canada 3 years earlier to work out our immigration, and time was up. I was heading to Canada. I informed all of my close buds where I'm going and said my goodbyes. In fact, the class had a special get-together to wish me good luck. I even got small gifts. It's not usual for someone to leave the country, you see.

From her, I got a pocket-sized English-Chinease dictionary, and a promise that she'll write to me, and I to her...and then I left.

I was so stupid back then. In no time at all, what little Chinese I have learned started to fade away. I could still understand the spoken language and say some myself, but I almost immediately forgot how to write Chinese. So it was, when she wrote me a letter, that it would take me forever and a lot of effort to draft up a response. As time went by, I just stopped writing, and with time, she stopped as well. As far as I know, our contact was broken.

Fast forward 3 years to 2000, when I went back to China. It was during my stupidest days, I got to say. Anyway, one day, she and her family showed up at our house and invited us for dinner. She and I were left alone to play, but all we could do was sit on the couch and be silent. I still remember the tension, but being the idiot I was, any tact I had...ok, I had no tact. After a relatively quiet dinner where we pretty much didn't converse, we bid our farewell, and she was out of my life again.

We did not contact each other again for the next 6 years, but once in a while, when I had a good look at her dictionary, her gift to me, I thought about her, about the good times we had and how stupid I was to not write to her because of my inane laziness. Of course, by this time, I had started to really like girls, so I thought of her in a whole new light. I wondered about what would've happened between us if we grew up together, instead of being separated like this; or whether it would amount to anything if I wrote to her now. Either way, it was just a dream.

Then one day, her mom emailed us. I don't know whether it had happened a lot and my parents just didn't tell me, or it was one of those out-of-the-blue things. Either way, my mom soon took the hint and called her. It was more than an ordinary call however, as she used a webcam. After all these years, I saw her again. My mom gave me the phone, I tried to speak Chinese, but all I can do is mumble and giggle nervously. It seemed she was the same way. My mom told me to speak some English; I did, and she didn't understand at all, despite that fact that she was learning English at the time. Still, it was a connection. She didn't appear to be still holding a grudge, so maybe I was in the clear? Once more, nothing happened for a while. Of course, you'd know that I wouldn't be making this entry if the story ended here.

About 2 months ago, my dad returned to China because my grandparents were suffering from some health problems. While there, he also contacted her and her family, and made her a promise, that I would aid her in her quest to learn English and help her with correcting essays and basically be a distant English tutor. It was no empty promise. Come the beginning of May, my dad returned with this piece of news, and nervously I wrote my email message to her and pressed send...the address didn't work.

Oh crap...was she still mad afterall? Did she give me the wrong address on purpose? I mean, I haven't really talked to her in 10 years, who knows what kind of person she is now? Well, as with many instances, my fears were unfounded. The address was wrong, but it was an accident. It was missing a "3". So I sent the message again, and within days, got my first email back from her. She revealed that she was going to the same school my mom taught at before she left; she revealed to me that she likes Harry Potter and gave me links to 2 Chinese HP sites; she even told me that she didn't like the Ron/Hermione couple!

During the last few weeks, we have been trading emails and, of course, essays, which helped me review my grammer as I corrected them. Apparently, she is trying to take and ace the TOFEL test, which makes it simpler for her to come to an English speaking country...or something. Either way, it's a stepping stone for that. I have been getting to know her all over again, and I like to think she's getting to know me as well. Unlike here (as far as I know), the girls and guys have their own dorm buildings, so she is not that exposed to the male gender that much. For once, a girl I like didn't have a boyfriend.

But she is not just any girl, that much is clear. There is a very simple process that I've realized that I follow when I meet a girl: I think she's hot, I get to know her, I like her personality as well, and finally I start hiding my crush by acting like the nice guy around her and helping her out in anyway I can. In that order.

She, on the other hand, entered my life waaaay before this; we have a history, but in a way, we don't. We had a great time together as kids, but after 10 years apart, it seems like we're starting anew.

What is the future for us? Well, she is taking the TOFEL test, which means she could very well end up on my doorsteps some time in the near future since the main reason to take the test is to leave China and start work in another, English-speaking country. If she does come to Canada, she'll need a place to stay, and as far as I know, we're the only "family" she has over here. What's keeping her from staying with us for a while before finding her own place? That's the fantasy anyway.

And of course, is there even a chance that she'll think of me in that way? No other girl does as far as I know, so why should she? When I was young, I thought perhaps we were made to be with each other; it was destiny. Now, everything's different; my view of the world is no longer so "romantic", but I don't want to let that past go. It was just one of those times that I think I was truly happy.

Time will tell, I suppose.

Got my N...hooray?

Thu, 07 Jun 2007 20:14:42 GMT

And so the weeks of torture have finally ended. I got my N this morning after almost failing because a train distracted me and I forgot to turn off my right turn signal. The examiner was nice though, so she let me slide. Before that, I was so nervous that I woke up at 8am and just lay there in bed, dizzy and nauseous.

Of course, the thing I'm most glad about is not that I got my N and I can go driving every which way now, but how I DON'T have to drive anymore because training is over. Yaaayyyy!! Now excuse me as I relax and not drive.

Oh no! It's got me!!

Tue, 05 Jun 2007 05:21:20 GMT

Facebook, that is.

A few months ago, I created an account because I heard that an "Avatar The Last Airbender" Group has found themselves a bit of spoiler for the upcoming third season of the show. Naturally, I went all out to get that information by assassinating...er...I mean, by creating an account at Facebook. Turns out, spoiler was complete BS, and so I totally forgot about it.

Fast forward to today, when one of my friends said that she had some cool pictures of her trip on her facebook account. Being the technophile that I am, I had no idea how to access those photos, and thought perhaps she had to "friend" me first. And so, my journey into the depths of Facebook began.

I returned to my abandoned profile; there were no pictures, no personal information of any kind...it was kind of...something. So, I thought, what the hell, it shouldn't take too long to jazz it up a bit with some info, and so I went to it. Half an hour later, I was done, and ready to look around a bit before doing something else. Big mistake.

For the next few hours, I trolled through search after search and sent out friend requests to about, oh...probably more than 30 people. I went through the list of people graduating in '05 from NWSS, those who are graduating UBC in 2009, and then, because I was bored, I went through all of my MSN contacts (including some from overseas) and searched for them as well.

There were a few faces that I haven't seen for a few weeks, and then there were ones who I haven't seen in 6 years...and now my soul belongs to Facebook.

Hallowed are the Facebook.

Oh, and for those people keeping track at home, it's 18 days until moving day! 18 days until I leave Xanga and grace LiveJournal with my rants, randomness, and other r-words that's similarily awesome.

God...teenagers are so stupid

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 04:50:35 GMT

Holy crap! Two entries in a row?!

The reason for this is that I've just faced a pile of stupidity in the shape of a highschool student on this Stargate forum I was on. No, the actual topic had nothing to do with Stargate, instead, it was Sex. Yep, you read that right.

I won't bore you with the details, but the topic eventually devolved into one of the younger posters saying that it's fine to "cheat" on your girlfriend/boyfriend or wife/husband, as long as both you and the girl/guy you're cheating with both give consent. Once again, yep, you read that right. According to this peon, if I had a girlfriend right now, but I saw a really hot chick at, say, the library or something, as long as the hot chick and me consent to a quick "quickie", the situation is perfectly fine.

Really, this goes with yesterday's entry in terms of absolutely DUMBNESS. The kid's a highschool student, he's bound to be idiotic most of time, I get it, but COME ON. All you need to do is watch perhaps 30 minutes of TV to see that cheating on a loved one is BAD. Say it with me kids, B-A-D. That's Bee-hAy (silent h)-Dee. That spells? That's right...BAD!!

What is wrong with these people? I remember once in highschool when Madame Bigras (our French teacher, if you don't know) asked the girls what quality they wanted most in a boyfriend, and most of them chose loyalty. I mean, it's not like it's a mystery or anything; gee, girls (and guys) like their boy/girlfriends to be loyal to them...what a surprise!

It's things like this that make me loose faith in humanity...until I realized that I already ran out of it many many years ago.

Here's a Dumb Quote:

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 05:16:05 GMT

"Gay sex should not be allowed; we don't want those kinds reproducing!"

Yeah, this probably belongs to one of those "how can people be this dumb?!" quote list things; but nope, I made it up myself during one of my patented "Random-binges". Of course, I have absolutely no problem with homosexuals; their business is their business. Still, if you look at it (the quote) from the POV of "how dumb is this?!" it's pretty funny.

Well, I think so, anyway.

Driving Frustration and Blog Plans

Tue, 29 May 2007 22:14:47 GMT

This entry is the perfect example of how I don't stay angry for very long. You see, for a while now I've been getting driving lessons from my dad, as he is a certified driving instructor (if you need lessons, just ask me). While that's all well and good, since I don't have to pay, it has not lessened my sheer and unadulterated hatred of driving in general. In fact, if I had made this entry after I came back from the lesson today, the title would be "Fuck Driving!!11!!" instead of "Driving Frustration". Also, I would have repeated "Fuck Driving!!!" a few times in the entry itself, before explaining why I was so angry. Now that I've been home for a few hours, that anger has leveled off...but it's there, just waiting to explode during the next lesson. Why do I hate driving so much?

For one, I'm lazy, and have no use of the skill of driving for at least 2 years. Also, my dizziness is sort of debilitating if it gets worse, which sometimes it does right in the middle of these lessons. Also, I just don't think I can pass the test; I think too much. That's right, I'm too smart for my own good. My dad has always told me that drivers rely on instinct; if you're good, you'll instinctively turn on the signal lights, check the mirror, and do shoulder checks before changing lanes or turning. I don't to this. I make so many little mistakes (did you know that letting go of the steering wheel, even when you've stopped for something, is considered a fault, and that 3 or more of them will get you a failing grade?! I didn't!) that it's not even funny. What's more, some of the rules are just ridiculous! There are at least 4 things you can do during parallel partking that can fail you, and that's not including hitting other cars while doing it! How am I supposed to pay attention to driving while at the same time noticing all of these little things? I'm a horrible multitasker. I mean, I can't even talk on the phone if there are people talking near me! Why do these people make these rules that noone on the road actually follows? What the hell is the use of them I ask you?! NOBODY ON THE ROAD DRIVES LIKE THIS!!

I honestly would rather redo all of my term 2 finals than take this damn test. At least you can erase your mistakes on paper tests before handing in!

Goddammit...and I have to do it next Thursday too...I wonder what I can do so they'll prohibit me from driving ever again...hmmm...I need to make a trip to a liquor store soon.

Anyway, onto the next topic; I'm noticing that a lot of my friends are moving from Xanga to LiveJournal or Blogger. I got a LJ account but never use it because of a twisted desire to stay loyal to Xanga. Well, no more of that. 25 days from now, I will have been a member of Xanga for 1000 days, which seems like a pretty good time to move on. From then on, I will be using my LJ account to post my thoughts, rants, and pictures. Here is the link:

http://pg15.livejournal.com/

It won't get updated for a while (25 days), so you don't have to check it. I will do some renovations though, to make it a little bit more presentable. Oh, and how do you add a link to your gallery? Do I have to use a different template/theme?

Oh crap...I forgot that important topic that I always forget to talk about...maybe it'll serve as a good subject to start off the new blog with.

Till next time, dear friends.

Fun with Unsteady Hands

Tue, 22 May 2007 23:00:12 GMT

So I was continuing my endless boredom last night, and noticed the crescent moon...well, in the sky, obviously. It was pretty clear and I thought I could get a nice shot of it and maybe use it as a wallpaper for my desktop.

Got my camera, got fresh batteries, and up I went to the balcony and took a pic. It was then that I realized that my zoom on my crappy camera...was crap. So, I raised it to the maximum magnification and took a shot anyway, even though I knew that it would make the picture blurry. What I didn't know was that my hand shock like a coffee drinker after his 4th cup of latte...or something.

When I saw my photo on the camera, I noticed a very nice blur effect, so I thought, hey! Accidental art why not?

Pointing my camera at the moon and swirling my hand around a few times, I came up with the following:

Weeeiiiird, I thought. Then I looked down at all the lights of Metrotown, and I thought, woah! This would look so cool if I were high! And so I pointed my camera at the lights and did the same thing, and came up with these:

Peace and love, dudes.

A Few Photos At Sundown

Tue, 22 May 2007 02:28:14 GMT

My bedroom window directly the sun when it's setting...that's to say, it faces the north west. As such, around 4pm each non-cloudy day, I have to close my blinds. Well, thanks to the clouds hiding the sun, I opened them too early, and now the sun is shining in my face (well, the side of my face, anyway), and that got me thinking that first of all, this sucks, and second, hey, shadowplay!

And of course, I have to take one of those "out of my window" pics:

That's it. See ya next entry.